Dilbert's Unified Theory of Everything Financial

by prash on 11 Oct 2006

Dilbert and the Way of the WeaselCould 9 simple rules be everything we ever need to know about personal finance? Well, Paul Farrell from MarketWatch certainly seems to think so and infact goes so far as to say Scott Adams, the brilliant creator of the mouthless cubicle-dweller, should be awarded the Nobel Prize for Economics!

These 9 rules were originally published in “Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel“. In its original form Adams’ formula was apparently so heretical and so explosive that no major house would touch it when he proposed publishing it as a one-page book. After initial rejections, he announced sadly that “if God materialized on earth and wrote the secret of the universe on one page, he wouldn’t be able to find a publisher” either.

Dilbert’s Unified Theory of Everything Financial:

  1. Make a will
  2. Pay off your credit cards
  3. Get term life insurance if you have a family to support
  4. Fund your 401k to the maximum
  5. Fund your IRA to the maximum
  6. Buy a house if you want to live in a house and can afford it
  7. Put six months worth of expenses in a money-market account
  8. Take whatever money is left over and invest 70% in a stock index fund and 30% in a bond fund through any discount broker and never touch it until retirement
  9. If any of this confuses you, or you have something special going on (retirement, college planning, tax issues), hire a fee-based financial planner, not one who charges a percentage of your portfolio

At 129 words, you just cannot beat it for simplicity. Thanks to Adams’ formula, the average irrational investor can ignore Wall Street:

“Everything else you may want to do with your money is a bad idea compared to what’s on my one-page summary. You want an annuity? It’s worse. You want a whole life insurance policy? It’s worse. You want to invest in individual stocks? It’s worse. You want a managed mutual fund instead of an index fund? It’s worse. I could go on, but you get the point.”

Which of these rules have you followed? Do they work for you? I am currently at 6/9 and pretty close to 7/9 (and if you are really kind to me, who knows, you might just make it into my will!)

-Via MarketWatch

[tags]Dilbert, Personal Finance, Dilbert’s Unified Theory of Everything Financial[/tags]

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

hello December 24, 2007 at 11:56

thanks for the post

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